Look, mad geniuses have something to prove. It's in the job description.Maybe they just don't get the hint when you say "MUAHAHAHAHA!" into your morning coffee. Or even if they do, well... heck. You're mad. Just show them anyway.

Buy these 3" Name Tag stickers on sheets on six - you can customize the salutation on the tags - for your next retro-futuristic get together. 'Cause around one AM all those robots tend to blur together, and a name tag can be a real help, there.Note that if you customize a name onto these, the same name will appear on all six.

Whether it's expressing the inner or the outer you, this blazing retro rocket will brand you as the kind of pilot, or accountant, or plumber, who's got his or her eyes on what's ahead. Kind of far ahead, but, you know, still.Just enter your own name and other information in the provided text fields, or click "Customize It" to move, resize and recolor the text.

Whether you're recruiting scallawags to tend the airbags, or drumming up new commissions for acts of vandalism in the skies - you need some quick and easy way to ensure that your contacts know where to find you. When it suits you, anyway. Consider these fine business cards, tailored to the needs of tomorrow's ruthless but debonair sky pirate.Just enter your own name and other information in the provided text fields, or click "Customize It" to move, resize and recolor the text.

Buy these 3" Name Tag stickers on sheets on six - you can customize the salutation on the tags - for your next retro-futuristic get together. 'Cause around one AM all those robots tend to blur together, and a name tag can be a real help, there.Note that if you customize a name onto these, the same name will appear on all six.

From their orbiting, heavily armed World Observation Center and Tearoom, the ladies of the World Domination Society take no prisoners in their efforts to make sure we behave properly and always use the Magic Word. Membership is by invitation only. Also, try the finger sandwiches. They're delicious!

"THE WORLD OF TOMORROW - If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home Now". And you'd get home on the streamlined monorails of Retropolis, just in time to attend an evening soiree on the art deco balconies of the Future That Never Was.

While the plum job on an airship is - of course! - the Captaincy, with that cool hat and the riding crop, there are any number of other important and prestigious positions on the airships of Retropolis.Cooks, for example. The crews who swarm over the gas bags and make speedy repairs. The stewards who serve travellers and empty the ashtrays in the pigskin-lined smoking compartments. Cabin boys. You get it.And then, of course, the incredibly important and yet underappreciated job we celebrate here today. Because at some point, just about any airship needs to gain altitude in a big hurry. And there are only so many ways to do that. So here, salute the unsung heroes of the skyways: Ballastmen. Provided at reasonable rates by Geo. Postlethwaite and Sons.

Sure, you're a propeller headed, fast talking, handwaving genius at whatever brand of Rocket Science is yours. But heck, the way YOU do it, it's SO much more. Right?

Once you've installed your very own Death Ray you won't want to waste any time before you brag about it to the neighbors. Unless, of course, you'd rather test it on the neighbors. Death Rays available in seven colors; void where prohibted.

Wronged by men & betrayed by fate, Bonnie Scarlet sails the airship REVENGE across the known worlds in an unending quest for plunder, justice, and just plain peevishness. Why? Because, that's why. What do you mean by that?But hey, it could be worse - and that's an actual quote from the Space Patrol - because whatever else you can say about her she does what she does with uncommon style. 'Cause really, it's not just anybody who has their own airship, right?

Who could forget this catchy advertising jingle from the Future That Never Was? Dissolvo is the safest, surest way to vaporize household pests, disintegrate offensive odors, stains, or neighbors.

Any mad scientist - and by that, I mean any OTHER mad scientist - will tell you that it's not enough to cackle and prance insanely around the lab. Some lab assistants just don't get the hint.So when going "Muahaha!" doesn't cut it; when Igor (or Igette) simply won't leave you alone with your mastodon/cuttlefish hybrid, your Dissolvo Ray, or your mind-melting Psycho-Cyclotron, just state the obvious.Back off. I'm doing SCIENCE.

Sugar, Spice, and complete, uncompromising oversight over everything that goes on in the Future That Never Was: that's the chemical composition of the Ladies' World Domination Society. Also, they serve tea.

Some of us, like Tonto, Kato, Robin, and other trademarked sidekicks, are best defined by our loyalty to others.We're not always appreciated, but we don't necessarily need to be - in a world where the Mad Geniuses get all the attention.

We've all been patient. We've been hearing about our flying cars for decades now, and really, we haven't been difficult about it. Mostly.But enough is enough. We want our flying cars, and we're through with being nice about it. You've been warned.

They don't know you have a Giant Robot. The fools.All day long, it's one inane thing after another - when you should be concentrating on your slowly ripening plans for world domination. Their petty concerns will wilt before the awful destructive force of your Giant Robot. One of these days, one of these days...

We could use a "Gravity" holiday... you know, one day a year when we could offer our respects to one of the handier laws of physics. The one that keeps our change in our pockets and - well, for most of us - our hair from standing on end.Yes, Gravity is one of those things we just seem to take for granted. It may be up to you to change that.

It's all relative in the Secret Laboratory. And until I finish the Annihilator Ray you can call me what you like - but I still prefer "Demented Iconoclast" or "Grumpy Visionary".Now, just sit still and let's get started, shall we?You test subjects are just so dang judgemental. Hey! I said "Mental!"

So here's the way it works. You go to school forever. You accumulate degrees. You accumulate a large student debt. Finally, a mad doctor gives you the keys to the bunker and after all that work, you're ready to work.But you just don't get respect. Everybody from the janitor to those wags down in research keeps saying "Well, it's not like it's rocket science". When, of course, it is, and you have the degrees to prove it.As an enlightened rocket scientist, you have two options. The option that does not result in a prison sentence is to get this mouse pad, and let it do the talking for you. The second option is more fun, of course, but only briefly.